My mother began by saying how special the church is (and it isâ€¦the history alone is enough to make it special) and when she brought me to Trsat for the first time â€“ she had me blessed and she wants Oliver to be blessed too.
I never really concentrated on how blessed or not blessed I was throughout my life. Even when the most fabulous things happened to meâ€¦my first pregnancy, my first childâ€¦I donâ€™t think god nor did being blessed entered my mind. I just thought â€“ â€œboy, I must be really luckyâ€. And we wereâ€¦even for a brief moment.
My entire life, I assumed if you were blessed it meant that your life was very fortunate. That you are healthy and only good things surrounded you at all times. By this definition â€“ Iâ€™m not sure I am or not.
I have repeatedly blogged about how lucky we are having such great friends and family. And how extremely lucky we are to finally have birthed a healthy child who is pretty much perfect in every way. We never had to struggle financially and always had good food to eat. We are committed to this marriage and both share similar goals that preserve this little family of ours. Apart from having a dead child â€“ I would say this could be considered blessed, no? But unfortunately the dead daughter part is so overwhelming that sometimes itâ€™s a bit blurry to see all the good things in our lives. A lot of the time, I donâ€™t feel so blessed. Sometimes I feel, if there is a god, maybe he just made a mistake the night Amelie died? Or maybe we just werenâ€™t as blessed?
Blessed or not â€“ Iâ€™ve learned that life takes no prisoners â€“ we are all subject to good and bad things happening to us. Some people have lives that go smoother than others. And some people just arenâ€™t as lucky. We are somewhere in between. Living a good life, raising a lovely son, healthy and for the most part happy and enriched with good friends and family - all without our daughter.